"I Never Met A Buffet I Didn't Like"
Best buffet experiences:
A) Having an eating contest at Old Country Buffet where I went plate to plate with a gentleman (?) nearly two times my size. Now, you may think that this was an impromptu competition, but you would be incorrect. It was something that we actually discussed and planned out beforehand. We even chose the most appropriate venue and time so we would be guaranteed immediate seating for not only ourselves, but also for the mandated judges. My opponent attempted to cheat by not mixing up the various delicacies available on one plate and decided to eat all corn or all rice on a single plate. Even with this strategy the competition ended up in a draw.
B) The Flamingo Breakfast Buffet in Vegas at 6ish AM. After a night of striphopping, my BFFs and I were told that the best afterhours club in Vegas was Drai's located in Barbary Coast Casino. Barbary Coast was most likely built in the 1960s and they have done nothing to renovate it or attempt upkeep.
Nonetheless, there was a ridiculous line to get into Drai's and equally ludicrous bouncers scanning the crowd and taking bribes for entrance. We chose not to take the bait on the bribery, but instead opted to wait in line and drink $1 vodka cranberries for almost two hours (mental note: VERY bad idea). We met a group of people that were from close to our hometown and proceeded to hang out with them until the wee hours of the morning, which included heading to the Flamingo Casino's Breakfast Buffet before it opened.
The buffet experience is somewhat hazy, but all of the recollections I have still bring a smile to my face. Is it acceptable to place a sublist within a list? Oh well, here goes the highlights & lowlights:
1) Making a guy take off his white socks because . . . well, just because.
2) Said gentleman being told that he must wear shoes at the buffet.
3) Grown men drinking chocolate milk.
4) Putting hot sauce in said chocolate milk on the sly.
5) Eating a mixture of pineapple and mashed potatoes.
6) The glares of the elderly who actually had a full night's rest and didn't understand what made eggs benedict so damn funny.
posted by classyandfancy at 12:27 AM
7 Comments:
Oh how I miss Sven (a.k.a. bad ass face tattoo) and Mike Chipotle. They were fun until they turned crazy back in Chicago. Do you remember the other guy's name? He was the bald one right?
The key to Old Country Buffet is getting there at the all important cross-over time between breakfast and lunch, so you can sample items from both meals. That's how you REALLY get your $9.99 worth.
Mo-WHAT WHAT! I think the other guy was Mike as well, didn't get too creative with that one's name, unlike, "Yeah, I put up drywall and then I make some fuckin' burritos." Swarm, swarm!
Dr. Ken-You are precisely right about the importance of buffet timing, it's key in order to guarantee massive consumption and coronary artery disease.
I found this on OCB's website:
It's Easy to Buffet!
Just follow a few simple steps:
Step one: Pay the cashier when you come in.
Step two: Find a table or ask for help in finding one.
Step three: Head to the buffet!
Step four: Enjoy a wide variety of selections and beverages.
Step five: Turn over your cashier's slip when you are finished.
I think we might know someone who might have needed these steps to get his easy buffet on.
I thought you meant Buffet as in Jimmy and I thought to myself, no way a person who likes Yo La Tengo can also like Jimmy Buffet, whose name I don't even know how to spell. OCB rocks if only for the fact that it has soft-serve ice cream and all the rainbow sprinkles one can eat (3 cups is my limit).
What is this "Old Country Buffet" you speak of, and more importantly, why have you all been there??
An even better question is why haven't you been there? OCB is an eating fantasy and it's old school which makes it all the better. I think that the people that work there wear aprons or smocks which prove to be useful on all you can eat rib night . . . without wet naps you have to wipe your hands on something. I think the closest one to Chicago is in Lincolnwood, which is where my eating competition took place. Ample seating and parking. If you have the means, I highly recommend.
Another thing, while I love margaritas and talking parrots, in particular the ones that have been trained to swear, I think Jimmy Buffett is just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG in so many ways to Sunday that it is impossible to count.
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