Monkeys Anyone?
This past Saturday my BFF and I made the trek out to a fringe West Chicago suburb in order to attend an open house at a retirement home. No, I was not searching for some accommodations for my folks nor do I have some creepy affinity for the elderly and their whims.
Although, some of them are so damn cute wearing those newsboy caps or really huge jewelry, they are like those kids you see in those really lame black and white pictures/calendars that are all dressed old timey-like, but the aged members of society are not lame at all because they really wore those type of clothes and aren’t holding a bright red rose wherever they go (this picture doesn’t show a poor child holding a rose, but believe me folks, sometimes they do and all I can say is GROSS).
I decided to visit because the day before our other BFF called to say that there was going to be a monkey at the event.
A genuine monkey, alive and kicking, with an organ grinder to boot! He was scheduled to be in attendance from 1-2:30pm. At 1:10pm, other BFF called to tell us that she already held the monkey twice and that we had to hurry! I put the pedal to the metal.
Driving out there traffic was brutal and we had to take a major street, not a highway, all the way out there. It took us over an hour and while we were stopped at a light my BFF said, “I can’t believe that we are driving all the way out here just to see a monkey.” My response? “I can’t believe that we wouldn’t drive all the way out here to see a monkey!”
We accidentally turned the wrong way on a street and had to take a five-minute detour. Crucial monkey time lost! We finally arrived to a packed house and lo and behold the monkey was right at the front entrance to greet us. He was not in the traditional organ grinder monkey ensemble, which was a bit sad because who doesn’t want to see a monkey wearing a fez?
Instead, he was sporting some dandy bumblebee pajamas!! Yes, they make those for monkeys. Although he was very cute, there was something about seeing him that made me a bit sad. He was an elderly monkey, which was fitting for a retirement home, but he had rheumatoid arthritis and I don’t know, it just made me somewhat melancholy.
I think I was expecting a monkey that would be jumping through flaming hoops and riding a dog around like a cowboy or something. He was a hit with everyone who was there, and I did get to hold him and he did make me chuckle, so in the end the monkey experience was Tropic World Asia AWESOME (for those not in the know, this is an exhibit at Brookfield Zoo outside of Chicago that is meant to simulate a genuine rainforest. Not sure if it sucks now, but when I was eight, boy did it ever rule!).
Although, some of them are so damn cute wearing those newsboy caps or really huge jewelry, they are like those kids you see in those really lame black and white pictures/calendars that are all dressed old timey-like, but the aged members of society are not lame at all because they really wore those type of clothes and aren’t holding a bright red rose wherever they go (this picture doesn’t show a poor child holding a rose, but believe me folks, sometimes they do and all I can say is GROSS). I decided to visit because the day before our other BFF called to say that there was going to be a monkey at the event.
A genuine monkey, alive and kicking, with an organ grinder to boot! He was scheduled to be in attendance from 1-2:30pm. At 1:10pm, other BFF called to tell us that she already held the monkey twice and that we had to hurry! I put the pedal to the metal.
Driving out there traffic was brutal and we had to take a major street, not a highway, all the way out there. It took us over an hour and while we were stopped at a light my BFF said, “I can’t believe that we are driving all the way out here just to see a monkey.” My response? “I can’t believe that we wouldn’t drive all the way out here to see a monkey!”
We accidentally turned the wrong way on a street and had to take a five-minute detour. Crucial monkey time lost! We finally arrived to a packed house and lo and behold the monkey was right at the front entrance to greet us. He was not in the traditional organ grinder monkey ensemble, which was a bit sad because who doesn’t want to see a monkey wearing a fez?
Instead, he was sporting some dandy bumblebee pajamas!! Yes, they make those for monkeys. Although he was very cute, there was something about seeing him that made me a bit sad. He was an elderly monkey, which was fitting for a retirement home, but he had rheumatoid arthritis and I don’t know, it just made me somewhat melancholy. 
I think I was expecting a monkey that would be jumping through flaming hoops and riding a dog around like a cowboy or something. He was a hit with everyone who was there, and I did get to hold him and he did make me chuckle, so in the end the monkey experience was Tropic World Asia AWESOME (for those not in the know, this is an exhibit at Brookfield Zoo outside of Chicago that is meant to simulate a genuine rainforest. Not sure if it sucks now, but when I was eight, boy did it ever rule!).
posted by classyandfancy at 11:31 PM
11 Comments:
Terrific post. ". . . crucial monkey time lost." A million laughs, classy.
Remember when they would simulate rain at Tropic World Asia? I believe Samson was the 400 lb gorilla's name. He would hide all the time, and if you found him, he wasn't moving. Jump through a fire hoop! Grind an organ! Wash a cat! Do some-fucking-thing!
Dr. Ken- I actually said "crucial monkey time lost" outloud after the road dead ended and no retirement home or monkey was in sight.
And what's up with those zoo gorillas? They are either comatose or charge up to the glass real quick-like & scare the bejeezus out of everyone! They need to go to charm school.
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Couple things, since we're on the topic of animal exploitation:
1. I agree that Tropical World Asia was the shit! Better than TW Africa. I too wonder what it is like these days - we should plan a trip out there to investigate.
2. The only thing better than an organ-grinding, fez-wearing monkey is that squirrel that can water ski.
Cherry-
1) I am so there! I just found out that TW had two gorilla births in 2005. That's right TWO! If that doesn't bring us to BZ, I don't know what will. Well, maybe riding that zebra striped motor safari tram thing would be enough to do the trick.
2) A water skiing squirrel is pretty awesome, but pales in comparison to the monkeys on Monkey Island in Vietnam. Okay, so when I was in Nha Trang I didn't go to the island, but they had a monkey rodeo for goodness sakes! Even without seeing it I KNOW that those monkeys were born entertainers. Hmm . . . I wonder if there were some that wore top hats?
I SO have monkey envy right now. Someone should have those gorilla babies fitted for bumble bee p.j.'s right away.
I have to admit that this is the second time I have seen this same monkey. He was slightly more impressive the second time around because he did some gimmicks but in order to entice me to see him a third time he best be learning to ride a dog while donning a little tiny cowboy hat and chaps. Now, that I would pay to see.
Dr. Ken- Absolutely nothing wrong with monkey envy. I would question your constitution if you didn't have it. I am in the process of enlisting the finest tailor from across the seven seas to fashion the most ideal gorilla baby sleep ensemble known to man.
Mo-Now, what if the monkey did a dance routine to "Here Comes the Hotstepper" that included breakdancing monkey back up dancers? Would that woo you into seeing him again?
PDP- Classy's torrid exotic animal past would make Caligula blush. Okay, maybe not Caligula, maybe a 14 year old boy in 1984 if he was blind & mute.
I will give only partial funny credit on this post... I was reading a comic from 1966 and you could buy an actual monkey for $18.99 from a company that guaranteed 'live delivery'
Tandem Bicycles - Tandems (Tandeming) is great fun, cant wait to get out on mine again
Geoff
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