My Goodies My Goodies
When is it appropriate for a lady to use the restroom outside? Well, there were at least two occasions in 2006 where I felt it was completely appropriate:
1) After meeting my BFF during the last leg of a bachelorette party, where in order to catch up with the crew, I was fed drinks like it was going out of style (always a good idea), my BFF and I decide to head over to a house party at Dr. Ken’s. We had no clue what the exact address was and kept telling the cabbie over and over again that we weren’t at the right place (which actually was right across the street from us). After getting out of the cab, we began to walk in the completely wrong direction wandering aimlessly up and down the block. At this point the liquor pain on the bladder train began a rollin’ and since I didn’t know when we would see anything that would resemble facilities, I went with the best option out there for me, the alley. I ran over next to the dumpster and by golly felt some sweet relief.
During this time BFF was still trying to find the party. I ran out of the alley refreshed and immediately tell her that I just peed in the alley. I felt as if it was a great accomplishment that must be shared with the world.
2)It was by sheer luck that I came across who would soon become one of my favorite DJs, DJ Major Taylor, one night at the weekly dance party at The Hideout. It was love at first note. I danced the night away and shut down the joint. For some reason I didn’t have the presence of mind to actually use the bathroom before I left, and by the time we ventured out to the car I was ready to unleash a significant amount of Miller Lite on my pointy hipster shoes. There were no alleys to be found for The Hideout is on a pretty solitary industrial road, hence the name. My only option? A planter with a weird steel sculpture in it. The squat was upon me and I can remember telling my friends, “You better not be looking at my business!” I said this at least three times to them, mind you, and this was a pretty quick expulsion experience.So, my friends, there goes some of Classy’s classiest outdoor urination moments! I am so pleased I could share them with you!
Labels: General Hotness, TMI
posted by classyandfancy at 11:14 PM
11 Comments:
Wow! If you were in the alley by Dr. Ken's, you do realize there is a man that sleeps in that alley. Hope you did not pee on him.
Side note: I love the Hide Out. And I always had a fondness for that sculpture... not anymore. :)
The only time I can remember peeing outside was when I was drinking beers and jumping on a trampoline at a friends house. I peed on their garage.
Peeing in a planter is talented. I must give you credit but not too much so you think this war is over... because its not.
5of9er- Maybe I did! Didn't Madonna say that peeing gets rid of athlete's foot, I may have done him a favor.
Julie- Thank you for the compliment. I always wanted to have a frenemy. We are like Paris and Nicole, but I'm much hotter.
Awhhh... frenemies.
When I think of a good come back besides 'yea, thats what you think' I'll let you know.
Correction – it was not “You better not be looking at my business!” it was “You better not be looking at my naughty bits!”
Just when I thought Classy couldn't be any classier :)
Good going though, I'm suitably impressed!
i really like you. let's pee together.
You're not being a very good frenemy. I think we might have to break this off. Or maybe how about your write something...
Mo- Thanks for the correction. That's why I keep you around to keep tabs on my escapades.
Matt- That's how I roll.
Tom- I don't know you well enough.
Julie- I will write when I am good and ready, missy! Or when I stop drinking cherry vodka and tonic on the couch and passing out.
Those were two well-written tales about female, outdoor, public pissings. Wait, didn't you barf when you got to the party too? Good night!!
Dr. Ken- Indeed, I barfed twice in the downstairs bathroom sink. I did do a fabulous job cleaning up after myself though, and no one was the wiser. Well, at least not until I blabbed it to anyone who would listen.
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