OCD Thievery Corporation
I am not sure why, but whenever I am hitting the sauce my OCD is accelerated ten fold. It doesn't help that I now own a dope digital camera that aids me with documenting the accomplishment of the OCD tasks I am hell bent on accomplishing.
Theft #1: St.Patty's signs taped to the bathroom stall
Why? I mean, they are pretty cool looking and it helps that I have a big purse to place the items in, but really am I going to ever put these things up again?
Theft #2: A child's headband
It was just sitting on the table just waiting to be stolen. With a little stretching out I was way ready to get in shape, girl. I was also ready for some karate chops & judo chops and some sweet 80s poses.
Theft #3 & 4: Balloon Hat & Elfkins
One of my sole missions of the day (well, it was decided upon once I saw these kids running around with balloon art) was to have a balloon hat made for me. After many beers and eating a few plates consisting of a head of cabbage, potatoes, and Edy's mint bits I was ready to to approach a quite girthy man in a green suit who was a balloon maestro. There was no line! But, it was not meant to be, he was going to make a sash (c'mon a sash!) for a middle aged man and then was done for the day. I HAD to have a balloon hat! I started rolling on the ground and threw a tantrum. That didn't help. So, I decided to see if there were any children that left their balloon wear unattended. No luck, none of them were drunk enough. Finally, I was able to get a hold of a leftover remnant of a sword and a friend of mine found another remnant in the bathroom. I fashioned a hat which now to me looks a little bit like a man's no no part.
The ultimate steal of the day has to be my two Irish elfkin friends. Aren't they the coolest? I spotted the little lady on the women's bathroom early on at the engagement. My OCD theft sensor was on full blast. Look at that bonnet! How I would kill for it! I wanted to steal it immediately, but there was an official looking guy in front of the bathroom with a name badge on for goodness sakes that would have surely ejected me from the fun times. After the festivities were over I was greeted with the best gift of the day, BFF stealthily grabbed a hold of my dear bonneted harp playing friend* and snatched her off the door for me! Head on hands resty elfkin was spotted out of the corner of my eye and I knew my day would not be complete without the pair. I spent the rest of the day introducing my knew friends to anyone who would listen, actually I would make them listen, and would whip them out of safe keeping from my bag. I am sure they were very pleased to meet them.
*unfortunately the little lady received an amputation that detached her from her harp later on in the day
Theft #1: St.Patty's signs taped to the bathroom stall
Why? I mean, they are pretty cool looking and it helps that I have a big purse to place the items in, but really am I going to ever put these things up again?
Theft #2: A child's headband
It was just sitting on the table just waiting to be stolen. With a little stretching out I was way ready to get in shape, girl. I was also ready for some karate chops & judo chops and some sweet 80s poses.
Theft #3 & 4: Balloon Hat & Elfkins
One of my sole missions of the day (well, it was decided upon once I saw these kids running around with balloon art) was to have a balloon hat made for me. After many beers and eating a few plates consisting of a head of cabbage, potatoes, and Edy's mint bits I was ready to to approach a quite girthy man in a green suit who was a balloon maestro. There was no line! But, it was not meant to be, he was going to make a sash (c'mon a sash!) for a middle aged man and then was done for the day. I HAD to have a balloon hat! I started rolling on the ground and threw a tantrum. That didn't help. So, I decided to see if there were any children that left their balloon wear unattended. No luck, none of them were drunk enough. Finally, I was able to get a hold of a leftover remnant of a sword and a friend of mine found another remnant in the bathroom. I fashioned a hat which now to me looks a little bit like a man's no no part.
The ultimate steal of the day has to be my two Irish elfkin friends. Aren't they the coolest? I spotted the little lady on the women's bathroom early on at the engagement. My OCD theft sensor was on full blast. Look at that bonnet! How I would kill for it! I wanted to steal it immediately, but there was an official looking guy in front of the bathroom with a name badge on for goodness sakes that would have surely ejected me from the fun times. After the festivities were over I was greeted with the best gift of the day, BFF stealthily grabbed a hold of my dear bonneted harp playing friend* and snatched her off the door for me! Head on hands resty elfkin was spotted out of the corner of my eye and I knew my day would not be complete without the pair. I spent the rest of the day introducing my knew friends to anyone who would listen, actually I would make them listen, and would whip them out of safe keeping from my bag. I am sure they were very pleased to meet them.
*unfortunately the little lady received an amputation that detached her from her harp later on in the day
posted by classyandfancy at 11:39 PM
6 Comments:
Ahhh...bless ya wee lil heart!! Love a bit of alcohol fuelled OCD-Kleptomania! PS...we must devour pickles aplenty together!!!; )
a whole lot fancy but not so much classy.
And you took my wallet last night!
I don't think those children are sad St Patty's Day is over. They are sad because they are next to your face. Har har har...
I have this same OCD fulled stealing problem too. Its a sickness...
lil- I think it's only getting worse with age. Next up, the silverware at Old Country Buffet.
Anon- But, but, but, Classy is my name!
9er- All right, I'll give you your Louis Vuitton back.
Julie- They were sad they couldn't make out with this face.
I took a picture for you Friday but I am too lazy to upload it.
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