November Spawned a Mozzster

Last Wednesday morning, after waiting for the elevator for an extremely long time I entered its doors and called it a skanky ass ho while pressing the button for the ground floor. Why I did this I have no idea. Aren’t hos supposed to serve you at your convenience? Aren’t they supposed to be quick to the draw? Do I have ho-speak tourettes? The only reasonable excuse for my outburst was that I was still delirious from the spell that Morrissey cast on me the evening before while performing at the Aragon Ballroom.

At first I was a bit disappointed that Morrissey chose to play the Aragon yet again. While a beautiful venue, the acoustics there have always been brutal. As in playing the telephone game with tin cans with your great uncle with a trach sounds better than most of the bands that I’ve seen there before. Also, I have a not too pleasant Morrissey memory tied to his last show I saw there circa the late 90s. He only played for around forty minutes that time around because he was Still Ill.

So, while crazy excited for the show given that it was the only stateside date he was going to play, I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high into the sky. Then it happened. His band came out it matching beige slack/vest outfits. There was a gong and a freestanding Guinness Records giant bass drum. Morrissey took the stage in a fuchsia button up shirt with a wide grey tie and grey slacks and the first notes of “Panic” by The Smiths filled the air. I knew it was going to be an awesome show.

He told the crowd that he loved us (pointing at me specifically) and that he wanted to put his gym made muscular arms around us. He took off his shirt on stage (hubba hubba) and changed his shirt two more times looking more dapper with each change.

His band and his voice were phenomenal. The Aragon was shown what it’s like to host a singer that sounds studio perfect live. He played “Disappointed” (in honor of our dear Cherry Ride who was unable to attend, sniff sniff), then “William, It Was Really Nothing” (one of my favorite Smiths’ tracks due to its excellent use of falsettos), followed by “Everyday is Like Sunday”. I thought I was going to spin myself into a tizzy. Later in the evening he played “Girlfriend in a Coma” and “How Soon is Now”.






“How Soon is Now” was particularly amazing to see live because of its wonderfully danceable guitar line (thank you Mr. Marr)and its only could be written by Morrissey spectacular scream with me lyrics: “When you say it’s gonna happen “now”, well, when exactly do you mean? See, I’ve already waited too long and all my hope is gone!” It also helped that the strobe lights were in full force for the song and Moz was a dancing fool. The only encore of the evening was another Smiths classic (they are all classics in my mind, really) “Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want”. It was a perfect ending to an incredible show.

I have only one disappointment to mention. There was a woman in front of me who early on in the show said to her friend that she didn’t know The Smiths. Are you serious?! This was the only U.S. appearance by Moz! Who allowed her through security? If it were up to me I would have designed a test for all audience members to take prior to gaining entry. It would involve either a) doing the same dance Moz did while singing “Sheila Take a Bow” on Top of the Pops or b) naming their last video or c) naming Moz’s favorite flower or d) if you have sideburns like Moz you’re in, no questions asked.