Thursday, October 04, 2007

Blogstinence

Okay, I almost reach the two-month mark of non-blogging and am a bit concerned. Like, is it true if you don’t use it you lose it? So, I am going to attempt at abusing this mofo like there’s no tomorrow (okay, that’s a lie, but I’ll try to get back to my weekly entries so you (Julie) can at least make fun of me on a regular basis). My life is interesting, yes, but as interesting as it was when I used to go out all the time, increase Miller’s stock, pick fights with those much larger than me, and injure myself? That is up for debate.

I found the following kick ass picture to update you on my life,
I call it “Hollywood Squares, Classy-style without Jim J. Bullock”: Square One: Classy Takes a Nap with Incense
Um, this really didn’t happen. Maybe it should represent that I’ve found some calm in my life? I spent a lot of my time in the not to distant past telling myself that the situations I put myself in were too chaotic, i.e. witnessing tagging turf wars, falling asleep outside a warehouse in Detroit, filing police reports, almost having a tree crash into my tent, feeling like I was trapped in a car dying. All very exciting when I was seventeen, a wee bit too stressful for being the 2-9.

Square Two: Classy Gets a Black Eye
This picture looks like two, but it was really only one. My right eye was hit and cut during a softball game. I’m pretty sure I’ll have a scar under my eye for perpetuity. BFF said that it would match the scar I have under my left eyebrow that I got from my brother chasing me around the yard resulting in me tripping into some concrete steps. Just shows that I am just as coordinated now as I was at five.

Square Three: Classy Pukes Jewels
I wish! Or maybe just to spit them out like Mouth in Goonies. I can honestly say that I can’t remember the last time I puked (check that it was at the Detroit Electronic Music Festival in May), so this doesn’t really update you on my life the past two, but I didn’t draw these pictures so work with me here folks.

Square Four: Um, no comment

Square Five: Classy Raises the Roof
When don’t I? But, I must admit, I do it in a MUCH more animated fashion.

Square Six: Classy Whilst Watching the Chicago Bears
The NO NO should be replaced with WTF are you doing, Unf-inbelievable, and I’m disgusted.

Square Seven: Classy during her Blogging Hiatus
Seriously folks, did you want to hear from this boring ass panda? Just look at me!

Square Eight: Classy Enjoys Wearing a Monocle
Uh, who doesn’t or an eye patch for that matter? I was kind of hoping that my black eye swelled so much that I had to wear an eye patch, but alas it wasn’t in the cards for me.

Square Nine: Classy is still Insane, but the Good Kind of Insane
Especially in San Francisco after drinking buckets of Anchor Steam when I almost got into a fight with the server for dismissing my order (which was most likely very loud slurring) for the Polish beer Zywiec. Classy is later told that maybe her pronunciation of Zywiec sounded similar to “Beeyatch” and hence why the server may have been offended.

I leave you with a parting pic of Classy and Classy’s Dad, re-enacting a, um horror (?) musical in the underground of Alcatraz. Or maybe Dad is just impersonating a wildcat and I'm impersonating a plane, who knows.

9 Comments:

Blogger Julie_Gong said...

It's good to have you back frenemy. I've miss our banter.

Are you sure you didn't get that black eye from being a horribly ass-faced a-hole of a person? Because if you did you totally deserved it. Friends!

9:49 AM  
Blogger 5 of 9er said...

Thanks for staying insane... it's good for the world. Also, I've always wanted to hork a bunch of jewels - that would be awesome, yet painful.

12:09 PM  
Blogger minijonb said...

i'll have that Classy Pukes Jewels
image in my head for the rest of the day. sweet.

1:01 PM  
Blogger classyandfancy said...

Julie-Because I am an ass-face,no, because I'm an a-hole with the coordination of a newborn? Yes.

9er- I need some chloraseptic.

Minijonb- Nothing's finer than a panda doing anything, but puking valueables, that's top notch!

2:33 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Daddy Classy is intimidating.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Leigh said...

Since you've sucked at blogging, I think you owe me a phone call to update me on the past few months. Fur rills, yo.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Loaf said...

Well, it's been about 2 and a half weeks, so I guess the whole back to the weekly schedule isn't working out for you! :)

Just throw us a post once in a while to let us know you're not passed out in an allyway surrounded by cans of Miller. Or if you are we want to hear about it anyway!

2:17 PM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

OK< there are somany things I need to comment on re: this entry.

First, welcome back.
Second, since it is Halloween today I have just one thing to say: "NO TIME FOR LOVE DR.JONES!!!"

11:57 AM  
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