Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Cosby Sweaters & Gettin Down

Last Friday on my way home from work I was invited to see the legendary Ms. Patti LaBelle perform at the Arie Crown Theater. I’d never seen Patti before and had never been to the Arie Crown, so I figured it was about time I do both.

In order to get there in time, I skipped dinner and decided to eat a box of cookies out of my trunk. They were cold and delicious and would provide me with enough sustenance to shake it while standing up in front of my chair.

After walking through the underground maze of a parking garage we finally made it to the Arie Crown marquis, which to my pleasant surprise also read Jeffrey Osborne. Seeing that he was performing made me feel as Cherry Ride would say, “Like a school boy, girl ohh.”

The Arie Crown Theater is in the massive and ever expanding McCormick Place. While they’ve continuously renovated the expo center, the theater itself seems to just be thrown in there. I wish the show would’ve been at the club that Jeffrey is performing at during the “Stay With Me Tonight” video, but the Arie Crown is close to being just 80s enough, just without that awesome neon.

So, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey. I felt like a middle-aged African American woman swooning over him, but that is indeed what I did. We missed half his set, but he packed in the hits while we were there including his hits Holding On (When Love is Gone) and (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again from his former 70-80s band L.T.D. (Love, Togetherness, Devotion). They must have really like parentheses back then, or just thought people were morons and would confuse the names of the songs all the time.

Here are some other observations of note:

· At one point during the intermission a little old lady dressed in baggy jeans and a County Seat sweatshirt starting dancing in the aisle putting everyone there to shame. Then she whipped out her seeing eye cane and headed to the restroom. The crowd cheered for her even more.

· I was amazed by the sheer number of Cosby sweaters that the male attendees sported. I had no idea that that were made with such quality craftsmanship and able to uphold their luster and brilliance a good 20 years plus after their inception. Oh yes, and some of these sweaters were partnered with Jheri curl dos. I don’t know how I didn’t get pregnant that night.

· Jeffrey Osborne was wearing a muscle tee and we could see his nips.

· Patti LaBelle has hot legs equivalent to those of Tina Turner.

· She started her set out with “New Attitude”.

· Patti told us that Celine Dion’s “If You Asked Me To” was actually her song, but that’s okay because Celine can sing her face off, but for us to not get it twisted.

· Patti kept about ten pairs of shoes on the grand piano eight of which just stayed on display.

· Crowd participation. Jeffrey went out into the audience to have people sing a song and Patti invited three people to come up on stage. People were cheering even the worst singer and giving standing ovations to those that could really blow. This is a key difference I noticed between this show and most of the rock shows I’ve been to, at rock shows there’s really not much of a focus on whether or not the crowd wants to be a part of the action. Then again, many of the bands I like have indecipherable lyrics, which proves difficult for a sing-a-along.

So, overall a great show, one of the best I’ve seen in awhile. I laughed, I yelled, I gyrated, and Patti cried. Who could ask for anything more?



Blogger 5 of 9er said...

1. I've never even heard of the Arie Crown Theater.

2. Jeffrey Osborne nips... eeeewwwww.

9:16 AM  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

So many things to comment on with this post. But I will confine it to two:

1) Cookies in the trunk? Awesome.
2) Jeffrey Osborne?? Holy fucking shit if I was in town I would have totally been there. 'Cuz he gives me special joy - Oh!

7:51 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

At my apartment
you knock at the door
quarter to four
Oh, boy!

That's flipping poetry. How phat is the bass line in that song??? I'm totally bumping some Jeffrey Osbourne on my ride home right now.

How about Classy posting and all 3 remaining Liars commenting right away?

I'm fixing to do a quick LC post real soon about a casually dressed pimp-daddy I saw this morning.

3:03 PM  
Blogger I'm Not Carrie Bradshaw said...

I've always found random concerts turn out to be the best (see: Live! in 1999). It was good to see you in March! Thanks for taking us to Las Pasaditas-those were some good steak tacos, yo.

3:51 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I just watched the Jeffrey video for the first time. Watch out, Classy. Looks like he's into Asians . . .

10:04 PM  
Blogger classyandfancy said...

9er- Oh you know you want his nips. Sorry we didn't rendezvous at the home opener!

Cherry- You were meant to sing the Woo Woo song with him!

Dr. Ken- I'm not sure I'm into his whole Asian fetish thing, I can barely stand halfsies. Nonetheless, I gave him my digits so he knows what's up.

Not Carrie- It was good to see you too! Sadly, I have yet to go back to the taco train.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

"Livin' better now, Cuji sweater now . . . "

Biggy measured success by how many Cujis he had in his closet, so you saw some successful brothas that night. If things don't work out with Mr. Osbourne, "stay the night" with one of them. : )

7:23 PM  
Blogger Julie_Gong said...

I feel left out. I don't know who Jeffrey Osborne is.

10:47 AM  
Blogger House of Jules said...

Found you through Cherry, which is how I am finding all the awesome people these days.

I nearly shed a tear reading this post, knowing I missed this show. Jeffrey Osbourne? Patty LaBelle? It's almost too good to be true. Have you seen the youtube video of Ms. Patti going off like nobody's business on someone she invited on stage (because he danced up on her a little too close and said something about her wanting it more than he did... unfortunately it's not on youtube anymore but I found this transcript), and then apologizing and inviting him back up? It's a live-in-concert moment unlike any other; and is a thing of beauty. She does NOT mess around.
House of Jules

9:34 PM  

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