Friday, April 27, 2007

Good Enough . . .

To all- Thanks for sticking around. Classy has what Peter Bjorn & John would call writer's block. That, and nothing too interesting is happening in my life. No monkeys, no injuries, no chacherellis. I must admit, I'm really quite snoreable.

I promise to get my act together and amaze you with all of my ridiculousness.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this nugget of good times.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Here's Where the Strings Come In

* And no, I didn't block comments for fear that the gongster would have a field day. Blogger was all bojangled. Thanks kadonkadonk for the heads up!

My Grandma used to give me a few bucks to go down to the corner store and buy her a pack of smokes. Why the cashier thought it was completely normal for a six year old to buy cigs is beyond me. All I knew was that by running the errand I would be guaranteed glorious candy as a reward.

And, it was just any type of candy, it was the best kind of candy around, nickel candy from huge plastic tubs. Flying Saucers, Swedish Fish, jelly coins, wax soda bottles with diabetes inducing liquid inside (which I just realized today were called Nik-L-Nip, man, that is durrrty, but I believe it is completely acceptable to dress up as the set for Halloween), Bit-O-Honey, and candy dots (and yes, I would eat the paper they came on in addition to the sugar nips).

So, I would walk back to my grandparent's house, brown kraft bag in tow, with a pack of smokes rolled into my sleeve, (okay, that's not really accurate, but how cool would I have looked?) in my hand me down clothes from my brother. I realize now that I looked ultra cool back in the day in boy clothes, but at the time I cried at Sears for fear that I would have to wear Toughskins.

Look at these ads! Holy crap. Look how happy they are in their Toughskins! Look how dapper they look in their leisure suits. I want to dress like that now and want to get to know better the adult counterpart of either tot in ad #2.

Upon my arrival, my Grandma would make me Maruchan Chicken Ramen/Heaven and I would watch the mini hour glass timer count away the minutes until I would have one of the most delicious meals in memory.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Snow Wrong

Thanks to Cherry I have developed an addiction to Corbis. I use it for work and for my general entertainment. The above photo falls in the general amusement category. Now, when would one ever use this for any type of advertising or report? Would it be used for pamphlet entitled, "When your child is in need of shock therapy?" or "How to trick a young 'un to look at your business?" (close your legs people!) or "You know you are in Europe when?" (look at the loafers, 'nuff said) or "Pizza Hut outdoor seating reserved for hipsters only."

Some other questions, who came up with this shot? What was their inspiration? Who are her parents? How much did the little girl get paid? Where can I buy that kick ass Snow White doll?

Granted, I created my fare share of chaos in the world of Barbies and Teddy Ruxpin. With the former being turned into men/amputees/drowning and the latter getting his eye poked out (try to read me a story now, buddy). But, my parents did not document the abuse for fear that they would no longer have a child in their home that would cry when Kiss came on TV, that would eat sticks of butter, and that would do choreographed routines to the Cheers & Law and Order (oh so jazzy) themes. There would have been a void in their household.