My Goodies My Goodies
When is it appropriate for a lady to use the restroom outside? Well, there were at least two occasions in 2006 where I felt it was completely appropriate:
1) After meeting my BFF during the last leg of a bachelorette party, where in order to catch up with the crew, I was fed drinks like it was going out of style (always a good idea), my BFF and I decide to head over to a house party at Dr. Ken’s. We had no clue what the exact address was and kept telling the cabbie over and over again that we weren’t at the right place (which actually was right across the street from us). After getting out of the cab, we began to walk in the completely wrong direction wandering aimlessly up and down the block. At this point the liquor pain on the bladder train began a rollin’ and since I didn’t know when we would see anything that would resemble facilities, I went with the best option out there for me, the alley. I ran over next to the dumpster and by golly felt some sweet relief.
During this time BFF was still trying to find the party. I ran out of the alley refreshed and immediately tell her that I just peed in the alley. I felt as if it was a great accomplishment that must be shared with the world.
2)It was by sheer luck that I came across who would soon become one of my favorite DJs, DJ Major Taylor, one night at the weekly dance party at The Hideout. It was love at first note. I danced the night away and shut down the joint. For some reason I didn’t have the presence of mind to actually use the bathroom before I left, and by the time we ventured out to the car I was ready to unleash a significant amount of Miller Lite on my pointy hipster shoes. There were no alleys to be found for The Hideout is on a pretty solitary industrial road, hence the name. My only option? A planter with a weird steel sculpture in it. The squat was upon me and I can remember telling my friends, “You better not be looking at my business!” I said this at least three times to them, mind you, and this was a pretty quick expulsion experience.
So, my friends, there goes some of Classy’s classiest outdoor urination moments! I am so pleased I could share them with you!
Labels: General Hotness, TMI