Do you understand my sadness?

You might if you were born and raised in Chicago and had to witness the complete and utter disappointment that was the Superbowl.

I didn't cry, but almost did while thinking about my Dad. He was completely ecstatic when the Bears won the NFC Division Championship. When I talked to him on the phone that day he said, "Thank you Classy for moving back to Chicago and bringing the Bears a victory today." I can only imagine how devastated he was after the loss yesterday.

I almost gave myself diabetes after gorging on Bears cupcakes and cookies from Dinkel's bakery at the conclusion of the game. I gave myself an orange frosting Tony Dungy-style dirty sanchez. It was a perfect ending to my day.

So, the Bears colored nails will be eradicated with acetone later today, my Keep the Ball in the Fridge 1985 classic tee will go into the wash for the first time in weeks, and my orange rain boots will go into storage.

Here's to waiting for another over half of my life . . .

I Don't Want This Day to End!

It was an unbelievable game. I am afraid if I go to sleep I will wake up and find out it didn't happen. I laughed. I cried. I almost broke the bench at the bar. I gave out a lot of high fives. I danced to "Whoomp There It Is" and "Miami" by Will Smith. I sent a response text to my friend from New Orleans that said I was going to punch her in her baby maker. I told everyone that I want to marry the NFL on Fox robot.

I'm Not Here To Start No Trouble

Update Trois: I am pissed at Dr. Ken. Well, okay, not pissed, just jealous. I didn't get any takers on my offer. Oh well, my kid is going to be damn cute. You'll be sorry.

Update Deux: I will give up my first born hermaphrodite for tickets for this Sunday's NFC Championship Game against the New Orleans Saints.

Update!!!!! CHICAGO BEARS win 27-24 in Overtime!
Classy is there to see it & almost has seven heart attacks!


How psyched am I that the first Chicago Bears game I will ever go to is this Sunday's playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks! Yesterday, I received a phone call late in the afternoon from one of my friends who told me that they had just released a block of tickets on Ticketmaster. I frantically went on the website, put in many permuations of Zs or 2s or Ls or Is, so many so that my head was spinning, but I couldn't stop typing and reloading the page. I NEEDED a ticket. I finally achieved success and am the owner of a pretty decent ticket near the goal line two sections up. I have to sit by myself, but it ain't no thang. I am going to have one hell of a frozen ass super fantastic super duper fan time. I am going to wear my orange rain boots and am going to start tailgaiting at 8am, so maybe you'll see me on tv. Wait, you will definitely see me on tv.

NBC and the NFL I am so DONE with you!

For one thing, what’s the deal with changing the Bears game from noon on New Year’s Eve to 7pm? I really don’t understand it. So, maybe the Packers have a slim to none chance of making it into the playoffs. Maybe it’s Brett Favre’s last game. By the way, didn’t he retire like seven times already? But, you are really screwing with my life. I had a very packed itinerary for the day and now who knows. I HAVE to watch the Bears game. I HAVE to wear my “Keep the Ball in the Fridge” shirt. Then I HAVE to change and get into full out New Year’s mashed up music party mode. I don’t doubt that I can do it, but I would have liked to have had the luxury of watching and stressing out about the game and then given some downtime to collect myself. Wipe my forehead with a ‘kerchief, hang out in the sauna, take a disco nap and the like. But, NO!

Oh no and then you have to pour salt into my wounds and put together a frickin’ ad for the game that highlights how Brett Favre is a hero and intersperse clips of the characters from Heroes? You are really pissing me off. Is Brett going to save the world with his last touchdown pass? I think not.

P.S. Well okay, I have no choice but to watch the game, so I am not really done with you.